Top Ten Advantages of Growing Older in the New Year

(Large Print is Intentional)

10) Kidnappers are not very interested in you.

9) In a hostage situation you are more likely to be released first.

8) People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.

7) You enjoy hearing about other people's operations.

6) You sing along with elevator music.

5) Your health insurance finally starts to pay off.

4) You no longer think of speed limits as an annoyance.

3) Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.

2) Things you buy now won't wear out.

And finally, the number 1 reason to face the New Year with renewed optimism …

1) There is nothing left to learn the hard way!  

Pastor James Gulotta

Messiah Lutheran Church

Downingtown, PA