Thursday, March 18, 2010

The Top Ten Ways to Attract People to You

- by Hilton Johnson

1. Have A Strong Personal Foundation

There is a concept within the professional coaching community called Personal Foundation. The idea behind Personal Foundation is that once you have it, people will notice a special energy about you that will actually attract them to you.

The way to get a Strong Personal Foundation is to have BALANCE in all the key areas of your life. This could include health, money, physical environment, family and friends, significant other/spouse, fun and recreation, career, personal growth and spiritual.

Professional coaches often have their clients grade each of these areas  from one to ten, ten being excellent. They will then coach on the ones where the person is  "out of balance."

Having a Strong Personal Foundation is the first major step to attracting  people.

2. Focus All Of Your Attention On The Other Person

People love to talk about themselves. When you ask questions that cause people to tell you about their passions and problems, they become naturally attracted to you.

You already know the routine. Ask people about their children, their  careers, what they like to read and what they do in their spare time. Try to understand them from  their point of view. Getting people to reveal their inner world to you can make you come across  as a superior conversationalist...and consequently, a very attractive person.

3. Listen, Listen, Listen

Most people give listening skills lip service. They think hearing another person's words when they talk is listening. That's not the kind of listening we're discussing here.

If you can listen to someone without thinking of what question you're going to ask next; if you can listen without thinking of your own agenda; if you can listen without thinking of selling them, then you can listen at such a deep level your potential prospect will be drawn to you. A dialogue exchange will begin to take place that will be so rich and engrossing, it's referred to as "verbal dancing." That kind of communication between two people then becomes irresistibly attractive.

4. Specialized Knowledge

If you have expert knowledge about something that people want to know about, that can make you particularly attractive.

What are you good at doing? (Or, what are you willing to get good at doing?) Are you good at writing, speaking, marketing, computer skills? If so, many people will be attracted to you. All they have to do is know that you exist and that you have the skills they need.

5. Acknowledge People

Another way to attract people to you is to pay them sincere compliments and then acknowledge the compliments. Here's how that works:

Let's say that you compliment a friend about some new furniture they just bought. You might say, "Your new furniture looks wonderful." You can kick that compliment up a notch or two with an acknowledgment that could sound like this:

"Your new furniture looks wonderful. You have a natural talent for decorating."

6. Commonality

Another neat way to attract people to you is to find things about them that you have in common. This goes back to the idea that asking questions, listening and probing into your potential prospect's world will reveal many opportunities to discover things you have in common and can have lively discussions about.

7. Talk About Your Success Stories

A common mistake that people in network marketing make is to tell people how successful they are. People don't care about that.

A more attractive way would be to tell people about the people you (or your company) made successful. Tell them about the poor situation somebody was in before you helped them. Describe in detail how miserable they were.

Next, tell them what that person's life is like now; how happy he/she is; how much freedom and wealth he/she has...all as a result of doing business with you.

Make a list of all of the people you have helped make successful and then develop the "before" and "after" stories that will make you sound amazing.

8. Offer To Be An Information Resource

Once you know something about your potential prospects, you will clearly see ways to provide information of value to them. It could be web sites relating to their hobbies or articles about things you two have in common. It could be information related to their business, their children or other passions they may have.

They will appreciate hearing from you when you provide information they can use. (Remember to do NO selling when you contact them. They'll come around when the time is right.)

9. Send Them Referrals

No one in their right mind will ever turn down a good referral. Find business for your prospects and they will always take your calls, have lunches with you, give you referrals and yes, give you their business.

10. The Most Important Person On Earth

Earl Nightingale used to say that if you want to be successful, treat every person you come into contact with as the most important person on earth.

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